Bringing the flag back out....

I've not had much to write about the last week or so. The days have consisted of staying out of the heat and unpacking in the afternoon. The good doctor continues to teach summer school and is wading through her students bad grammar. She only has three days left and then she has completed her first class as a college professor.

Outside of the unpacking and setting up house we have been attempting to balance our budget (after a pay cut that was HUGE) and find the means for me to attend school. I am headed back to Midwestern to take five classes in the fall. The purpose of the classes is to fulfill the requirements for admittance to PharmD school (doctorate in pharmacology). Because I was an English major as an undergrad I am missing a large portion of classes (science, math, etc.). My fall schedule is enough to make even the biggest math geek sick (chem I, zoology, botany, physics, and calculus). I am not a glutton for punishment; I just simply have a short amount of time to finish all of the classes. Somehow we have managed to find the way for me not to work for a year while completing the requirements for pharmacy school. It has been the combination of many people coming together that has allowed me to take a year off of work. Because seriously, what 31 year old can really stop working for a whole year (by choice)?

The one obstacle we have come up against is the money for tuition. Because I already have a master's degree I do not qualify for financial aid to go back and work on undergrad work. I have tried grants, loans, scholarships. Also, I am a fish out of water in Texas. Texas is an area that likes to support their own. They offer all sorts of aid if you are a resident; but if you are new to the area you are out of luck. Both Susan and I were hoping to take advantage of the tuition remission that is offered to dependent children and spouses of faculty. While I understand that I am in the belt buckle of the Bible Belt, I have become accustomed to a higher education system that is liberal, opened minded, and forward thinking.

How wrong could I have been?

The policy for tuition remission states that dependent children, spouses, and common law spouses are eligible for a full tuition remission. What this means for us is over $10,000 in savings. My tuition for the first semester is $5000. This is every penny I have saved from working two jobs for the last two years. The tuition for second semester would have to come from my tax return and the tuition for summer school would have to literally be pulled out of thin air. When I first read the policy I thought for sure the school covered domestic partnerships because 1) it's higher education (and not Liberty), 2) the cover COMMON LAW marriages, and 3) because I've been in an accepting community for so long that being gay is not who I am, it is just a part of me.

This afternoon we received a call from the dean of the college of arts and sciences who, God love him, has been working on this matter. His daughter is gay and lives with her partner and children in a much more accepting neck of the woods. The dean visited with the head of human resources who stated simply that it was her job to follow code and code state tuition remission is offered to 1) dependent children, 2) spouses, and 3) common law spouses. Not domestic partnerships (and domestic partnerships is not even my term...this is a government term. Susan is as much my spouse as any hetero-sexual couple. We have the same issues, the same depth of emotion, and the same human characteristics. We are spouses (minus the lavish, expensive ceremony). After the dean received the answer from the head of human resources he went to the provost of the university (who is in charge of all personnel matters). Apparently the answer there was also negative. Because at 6:00pm, when Susan was on her way home from teaching, she received a call requesting her return to the university. She happily obliged hoping for good news, which would ultimately mean that we were granted the same rights as any other couple.

I will not be granted tuition remission for the fall.

Now I am struggling with the choice of giving a university my hard HARD earned money (did I mention it was hard earned) in order to advanced my wishes and dreams; even though they have policies that prohibit this? At this point, I feel as if I might as well be handing my money over to Jerry Falwell. I need these classes to apply to pharmacy school, to pursue a PhD, and to secure my financial future. But I hate the thought of emptying my checking account into the hands of an establishment that won't recognize who I am and the place I hold in someones life. Because ultimately, without our "domestic partnership" they would not have the good doctor. I wrote the cover letter, rearranged the CV, pulled the job advertisements, and sent the applications off because NO ONE has ever believed in anyone more than what I believe in Susan. She belongs in higher education teaching future educators and I am glad we could work together to make her dreams come true.

Now the question is, at what cost do we work to make mine come true?